Update- I Have Not Forgotten
May 17,2024
I didn’t realize how much time had passed since I wrote in this section of my blog. This is mainly due to the fact that it has been a year since I have been at the Cleveland Clinic and almost a year and a half since I had an MRI. I haven’t been concern because physically I didn’t feel like anything changed. But things have been differenct since July of 2023. For the past year I have been experiencing back issues. P.eople have noticed that I have had problems walking and it takes a lot of effort just to stand up straight sometimes. The only thing that has given me some sanity is that a lot of my symptoms are the same issues I experienced after a minor car accident in 2018. I never really had back issues when my MS was active. I have also seen improvements with neuropathy in my hands and feet. I don’t have brain fog. Bowel and bladder issues have improved. I have to remember that I have a lot of damage from when my MS was active. So it is hard to tell if everything is good or has the evil monster returned. I have also noticed that I have a lot of symptoms point to thyroid problems but all of my test say I am in the normal range. I have a lot of visits with doctors at the Cleveland Clinic today so I am hoping to get a better answer because they actually listen to the patient. The most notible is my unexplained weight gain. I am praying for answers and positve results.
This afternoon I had an MRI of my brain and cervical spine. This was one of my most worrisome MRI’s. I am not even sure that is the right words to describe how I felt during this MRI. I know the promises and I have no reason to doubt them but I could not get my mind past the fact that some of my symptoms were mimmicking the MS monster.
He who did not spare his own Son but gave him up for us all, how will he not also with him graciously give us all things? -Romans 8:32
“Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you. - Matthew 7:7
I fully trust that no matter the outcome, God has a plan. He is wrtiting a story that is far greater than I can imagine. Knowing these things should make it easier and in some ways it does but some days are way harder than I thought they would be as I approach year 4 of being free of active MS. As I consider the results of all things, I put on my reality hat and remind myself that I have a lot of damage. I have a hard time accepting that because I know that God can fix this. Doesn’t God want me to be able to do all those things I used to do? He knows I work with children who love to run and play.
Evening May 17, 2024
I have a notification from MyChart. There are test results. I’m at Kohl’s with my mom. I am sitting on a bench and she is curious about what is upstairs because she has never been to a Kohl’s with an upstairs. I am signing in. My heart is pounding but I has a reassurance. I don’t have a great data signal. It seems like it is taking so long to load. Or is it because they found something and my report is larger? Surely not. God hasn’t brought me this far for a set back? But, I still have a peace that is lingering as I wait. AAAHHHH! Why isn’t this loading??? It finally loads. I am scrolling to see the results.
Cervical Spine New T2 Lesions
Value
None
Cervical spine enhancing lesions
Value
None
Brain New T2 Lesions
Value
None
Brain Enhancing Lesions
View trends
Value
None
Brain Other Significant MRI Findings
Value
None
And God shows up again! No changes since my last MRI!! Although I am happy with these results I still wonder why I am having these physical issues and pain. My follow up with my neurologists is Monday.
May 20,2024
My doctors are also a little puzzled but they know that the procedure can mess with other body systems. So more blood work and another MRI so they can form their own opinion on the old back injury. I think this is the best route for now and I trust that God will continue to provide direction.
I am breaking down as I am writing this entry. I am so full of gratitude and I am so undeserving to have God work in such a mighty way. As I reflect I can see so many times where He was at work and how He has moved in my life. But you know, the story is not over. Thank you to every Prayer Warrior that continues to lift me up!
In Christ,
